Since arriving in Amman.....

I have laughed, I have cried. I have eaten many sweets, mostly the pastry & pastichio kind that is home to the Middle East. I have missed my friends, my family, simultaneously I have made new ones. I have parted from a boyfriend, a friend, opening up another unknown path, more limitless life options, a blank canvas on which I am to paint. I’ve given thanks for the beauty that was Aweil. I have regretted my decision and I have accepted it. Cursed my circumstances and embraced them. I’ve been surprised by Amman, and by its people. I’ve watched the sun set over the hills of Palestine whilst visiting the Dead Sea. I’ve found both comfort and frustration in yoga and meditation, and somehow the motivation to join a gym! I’ve eaten falafel, but not half as much as I imagined, tasted the best pistachio ice-cream one can imagine, enjoyed some Jordanian wine (and not enjoyed some Jordanian wine). I’ve noticed the difference between working in the field and the coordination. I’ve seen children who barely have a face, and men who have no legs. I’ve heard the joy of our medical staff at the miracles their work performs, and I’ve realised that some things – both good and bad – eventually have to be accepted. I’ve gotten sunburt and peeled, wrapped myself under a blanket in the forest of Ajlun. I’ve put your faces on my wall, and the words that I believe in on my wood, I’ve watched my prayer flags sway with the breeze through my room whilst laying on my bed unable to sleep. I’ve slowly started to learn what’s expected from me in my new role and I’ve gotten over excited at the small achievements. I’ve taken one more small step and I’ve gladly learnt that some of those close to my heart have gained greater appreciation and acceptance at my choice.

So what exactly am I doing here......?

I know this is the question that some of you ask, so let me tell you a little bit about the project.

As you know, this time around I am not linked to the field. I’m working in the coordination team which is the group that overseas and supports all the fields that are within the country(ies).. So I am based in Amman, and by chance so is the main project. This is good! It makes it easier to visit the field on a regular basis and for me an important part of this work is feeling linked somehow to the people and to see the difference that we are making, it keeps my inspiration levels up. In the coordination team, on a daily basis you are not so linked to the patients themselves, rather the overall running, objectives, planning and management of the project more broadly.. Sooo, being able to easily visit the field is a big plus for me...

In Amman we are linked with a hospital and this is where most of our activities are taking place. The patients are identified in Iraq, the files sent for review and from here they go through a validation process to make sure that they meet our criteria. Once they are validated the process begins for getting them a visa and getting them to Amman. Once arriving in Amman they are located either at our hospital or in the hotel that we rent.

You see the project here is quite unique, with the patients sometimes staying for a rather extended period. Our allocation of beds in the hospital is only small so we rent a hotel for the patients to stay in, either when they are recovering from surgery and still going to the OPD (Out Patient Department) for follow up, or in between surgeries (depending on their specific issue, during each visit one person can have multiple surgeries, and they can then go back to their country of origin (usually Iraq) and come back to Amman multiple times also).

So it is certainly not a quick process and people are sometimes in the program for over a year, possibly more..

Most of our patients are victims of conflict from the war or the everyday life as it currently is in Iraq. A large percentage are men, but there is also always a presence of women and of children.. Seeing the children in the state that they are sometimes in is for me, personally, the saddest thing. The wounds that they have should be from no actions of their own, rather the consequences of chance and of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Consequences that will, regardless of the justice in it, haunt them for the rest of their lives.

Given Amman is such a safe and friendly destination many of the expats here are with their families. That means to begin with I had a 3 bedroom apartment for my little self, but these days I share with a great and super experienced French girl, and we’ve just said goodbye to a crazy and heartwarming Spanish Pharmacist! The team in the coordination is quite young and although they have families, which limits their weekend availability, we enjoy each others company and have limitless options for weekend fun as there are so many places to go in Jordan, plus we actually get 2 days off here, so there is a bit more time to explore.

Having said all this, Amman certainly isn’t the same as the afternoons and evenings under the mango tree in South Sudan, drinking Kenyan beers and eating macadamia’s. I guess the first time is always special, and I think, despite its difficulties, it will be hard to match the experience that I had in South Sudan, the Aweil survive team will be very hard to beat, comfortingly I’m not the only one to feel this!!

So, as you can tell, I have again decided to keep a blog! Enjoy the reading of my experiences and my random thoughts on life!

And remember, daily, how lucky we are, with not only the opportunities that are presented for us but for some of the consequences that, by chance, we don’t have to face!!